For the sake of some privacy, some entries will be friends only. So, if you happen to read my journal and would like to continue, by all means, join lj, friend me, and leave a message so I know to add you!!!

(Background story: I graduated 3rd in my class in high school.)

I bumped into someone I went to high school with, and I had Sam with me. Here is the conversation:

Me: Hey K, how are you?
K: Good. He's so cute! Is he yours?
Me: Yup, I had him about 7 months ago.
K: Really! But you were so smart?
Me: O.o

X-posted

~ People not returning my emails from freecycle.
~ The financial aid office at school.
~ People throwing away my home made baby food. (Beacuse "it looked funny." Well, mashed up broccoli is going to look funny.)
~ People trying to entertain Sam while Im trying to get him to go to sleep.
~ People leaving half-full cups hidden and within reach of Sam. (yummy sticky Dr. Pepper carpet)
~ Being cold in the summer.
~ Not having a chocolate fix around when you really, really need one!
~ Abandoned WIP fics (I went through my WIP bookmark, and 75% havent been updated in over a year, while the author has been writing other stories. Out of the 25-ish I had, 3 have been completed.)

Might as well update y'all.

Denver was alot of fun! We went for 4 days to see the Cardinals play the Rockies at Coors field. (For those that dont know, thats baseball). We got a really nice hotel room for only 50 bucks a night. Oh, how I love traveling in the off-season! I only wish we had more time to see all the cool things in Denver. I also realized that vacation with an infant is not much of a vacation. I really enjoy road trips, but once again, I wish we had more time to stop at all the places we saw. (Nick has been bugging me to write about Denver, so I think he wanted a big ol' blog, detailing the whole week. So honey, if your disapointed that I dldnt detail out everything, I'd be glad to, but considering all the things I wanted to do didnt pan out and the last night there wasnt very pleasent, do you REALLY want me to detail out the week? Think about it and get back to me.)

Work is going to get alot easier now that I dont have to work 8 days in a row and there shouldnt be any more double-headers. I might actually be able to make it through the season. My dunderhead bosses are getting less dunderhead-ed now that they have an intelligent boss. I try to deal with them as little as possible.

Im going to start a baby blanket for my cousin, whos due in August. Its a little more complicated, but too cute, so I will (hopefully) post pictures soon.

I have come to realize that my blogs are a very superficial view of my life, and I want to go back to more detailed and personal accounts, so I need to start journaling again. Now that Sam is getting more independent, I think I might have the time to go back to writing. I didnt realize until I couldnt do it how importnat that time with my own thought is. I have thought about posting in here, but (1) alot of it is very personal, and I wouldnt take any form of critizism well, and (2) I just love the idea that those journals might outlast me, and I want some thing to be more permanant the words on a screen.

I dont know if I have talked about this, but my family runs an organic farm out of our back yard. Today, a woman from the local PBS station is going to come by and do a story on us as part of the Corrales Growers Market. My dad is nervous and wants me there to help him. Shes going to follow the market though the season (I think), so it will be a while before this aires. If it becomes available online, I will pimp it like a pro, I promise.

Its 8:45 in the morning, and Sam just fell asleep for his morning nap. Nick hasnt been sleeping well, so hes still out. So I have the house to myself. I could:

~ catch up on folding laundry
~ take a shower and watch some tv while knitting
~ go back to bed

I know what I want to do, and whar I should do, so I will call it a draw and go take a shower. Oh, wait. PBS will be here in 10 minutes. Nevermind. Must go change for my big little screen debut! hehe

Nick caught some sort of bug. I think one of my dads friends brought it over. I feel like suddenly moving somewhere or drowning the house in antibacterial cleansers to avoid getting sick.

Since I cant do that, I pray I dont get whatever he has.

Regional Dialect Meme (from docbrite)

( Read more... )

I know this might be the stupidist thing I have ever posted on here, but it was profound for me.


I hate throwing up. I hate it with a blind passion. I would rather do anything else then throw up. Seriously. I remember this one time, when I went to the fair with 4 or my closest friends, and after one particularly fast spinning ride, my friend got sick and threw up in front of everyone. Did I help her? Tell people to stop staring? Hold her hair? Nope. I ran as fast I could in the other direction and didnt meet up with them for a couple of hours. (BTW, she stood with me when I threw up in 4th grade near the playground.)

Kids apparently throw up often and without much warning. I have been told many times by my dad that I used to pull the "Daddy, I don't feel well *puke*" often. My son getting older and throwing up near/on me scares me more then is probably normal.

So . . .

I was at Barnes and Noble this evening, and I was sitting in one of their uber comfortable chairs, reading, when I heard a strange choking-coughing sound. I look up, and about 40 feet in front of me I see a kid, maybe 6 or 7, throwing up.

I didnt get sick to my stomach, I didnt move to the back of the store, and I didnt run like the hounds of hell were at my heels. I just went back to reading. And then it hit me, what I just saw and did.

And in that moment I realized I can totally be a mom.

Trained for my new job yesterday. And I use the word "trained" loosely. They had a girl who trained on Saturday train me, so she was alomost of clueless as I was. At the end, this guy who runs another part of the park tells us we will all be back on Tuesday. (A special exibition game between the Isotopes and UNM). I told them no one mentioned to me I had to work Tuesday, and I had bought tickets. He gave me a bunch of attitude. So Im going to call my boss this morning to ask her. Keep your fingers crossed!!

Everyone there seems so laid back that I think it will drive me crazy.

So, with the money Nick won, we went today to pay some debt off and buy some fun things we've been wanting. We went to Target, and Nick got out his wallet to pay. We finished up and got into the car and went to Sonic for happy hour. When we got there, his wallet was gone. We rushed back to Target, but nada. Security checked the cameras, and Nick put it back in his back pocket. So we figured it fell out or got taken on the way to the car. It had some cash in it, but we did all the important stuff first, so se la vie.

He was really upset about the stuff in it: id, social security card, medical card, etc. We were dreading tomorrow, because we would have to spend the whole day in line to replace everything.

Nick decides he wants to have a drink and play a couple hands of blackjack. I dropped him off at the casino he won that money at and then went home to tuck in Sam. When I came back, he says, "Wanna see something weird?" and whips out his wallet, sans money.

When I dropped him off, he went to the bar, and then went to the blackjack table. The pit boss that had wrote up his win a couple nights ago came over to chat, and Nick mentions he needs a new player club card because he lost his wallet. The pit boss says, "Haven't you checked security?" Nick explains that he lost his wallet at Target which is about 20 miles away from the casino. The pit boss insists that the wallet they found is his, so security brings it over, and its Nicks wallet. An older woman had found it in the womens restroom and turned it in about 6 hours after he lost it.

Now, if that ain't the twlight zone, I dont know what is.

My car is still ghetto from the car accident in September '06, and rapidly becoming too small for our growing family. (Sam weights 19 pounds at 4 months, so he will soon be too big for his car seat, and we have to get another one that much larger). This car thing has been bugging me for a long time. So we went to one of those "fix your credit" car places, and got approved for a newer car. I told my dad, and since car payments are his archenemy in his life, he fronted us the money to buy a car. We bought a 2003 Dodge stratus, which is super roomy on the inside and super cool looking!

So, with car drama taken care of, and school money coming to pay dad back for the car, we decided to celebrate at the casino. We went last night (saturday) and had a couple drinks, flirted with each other at the bar and went to the tables to pay. We ended up moving to Texas hold'em. It kicked my butt, so I moved, but Nick stayed on there, and after a coupe hands, got dealt a royal flush!!! He won $5530!!! He came running over to my table yelling "I won 5000 bucks!!!" A whole bunch of people in the casino got all excited and what not. It was completely surreal until we cashed out, and the teller counted out 55 one hundred dollar bills and I held them.

Man, that was a weird feeling.

So March has been nice to me, and I hope it's being nice to everyone else.

PS: Sam is sitting on his own today too! XD

I lucked out in high school. I had a uber feminist for an English teacher, so I have been forced to read very few traditional classics. This means that I actually adore them.

A long while ago, I read Pride and Prejudice and LOVED it. The newer movie is also really well done in the acting and cinematography department. The direction drives me MAD!!! The director moves the camera at bad times, and it drives me crazy. So some of my favorite scenes (like the awkward scene with Darcy bursts in on Elizabeth while shes writing a letter to Jane.) are almost impossible to watch without me wanting to wretch at the direction. My 4 month old son could have directed that movie better. And he would have been an egg at the time!!

Its on tv right now, and I am going back and forth from the computer to the movie because watching it straight will push me to murder.

I am surrounded by idiots.

(3-1-08)
What do you dream about, our dear son, when I hold you close?
What happy memories tickle your brain when your lip twitches in sleep?
Playing on the floor? Swing in the park?
A sleepy giggle hushes the silent room.

Ganked from zap____pow

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies. (I got 10. It was difficult!)
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess (NO CHEATING!).
4. Fill in the film title and the name of the person who guessed it once it's guessed.

(I didnt go to IMDb for all of them. Sue me.)

( here we go people! )

Picking 15 movies was really difficult!! I got ten. Deal with it

~ I got a new job working as a consession stand manager for the Albuquerque Isotopes. Nick is super excited cuz he can go to all the games. Im super excited because its management and a pay increase.

~ Current job is probaby going to end soon. Which is sad because I have worked there for so long. Im disappointed, but I guess thats what happen when you become friends with your boss.

~ Took Sam to his first baseball game yesterday. He was SOOO good!! But I forgot the camera, so pics next time (wednesday).

~ Itchin like nobody's business for it to be warm so I can walk in the mornings with Sam in the stroller. Gotta get this baby weight off before it gets too comfortable.

~ I wish you could buy extra userpics without becoming a paid member. I dont care about all the other stuff, I just want the user pics!

I think I have cabin fever. I cant WAIT for it to be warm!!! Im so tired of the cold and the heater kicking on and waking me up through the baby monitor. I want to take Sam out with the stroller. My getting-back-a-better-body-then-before-baby plan's cornerstone is walking, and I feel so wasteful driving to the mall to walk around it. And its too easy to come up with some excuse.

I have things I need to do, things I want to do and things I have to do. For example, I need to clean out the garage, I want to take a long shower with a facial and pedicure but I have to wait for Nick to finish up with Guys Night and pick him up.

Combine this with the feeling of inspiration and creativity on the tip of my fingertips, but just not knowing how to get it into me, and I am one frazzled woman.

Grrrr . . . .

This mixture is making me want to track down ex-friends, ex-boyfriends, and one of my dads friends and give them some hell. grrr . . .

Motherhood can be very overwhelming, if you let it. And I let it. I have then very bad tendency of not asking for help, just squishing more and more into my day until I explode. Very bad habit.

So, Tuesday was one of those days where I blow up and make a huge ass out of myself. Nick handles it very well; he makes me lay down and then get out of the house for a couple of hours alone. A nap, an italian soda from Barnes and Noble and a walk seem to always cure my overwhelming-itis.

Then yesterday we were catching up on TiVo-ed shows, and we watched Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. (Fantastic show btw. Watch it. Anthony is so cynical its charming) Anthony was in Beiruit, and it was just the most . . . amazing hour of television for me. They were there right before and during some civil war fighting in Beiruit in 2006. Watching people trying to evacuate with their children was impossible for me to watch. Seeing the terror and heartache in their eyes while Sam was falling asleep on my chest just broke me up. The words "We are so lucky" dont even begin to scratch the surface.

Its hard to live in a world where people hurt innocent children.

In comparison to that hour of television, all the silly things I was upset about the day before looked like candy and rainbows.

Being a new mom, Ive noticed a huge difference in how people treat me and expect me to behave. It seems people expect me, and mothers in general, to be Supermoms.

( Examples )

I just seems like people expect moms to have every answer, be prepared for everything, and have perfect eye makeup at the same time. And they take it like an insult when we ask for help or forget something.

Our turkey day was quite, which is a change to what I normally do. We all went to my cousins house for ham (with full blown ham-techinical-difficulties to boot) and all the fixins.

We have been wanting a flat screen tv for a long time, and have had our eye on a few for about as long. With all the sales, we thought we would indulge and buy one. But then my dad and sister got wind of this purchase, and the tribe was not happy. Apparently, when you have a child, all your time, energy and money should go to the kid. Forget getting someone to babysit for a half hour, yet alone spend $500 on a 40 inch tv that we have been researching and comparison shopping for months. Living here is like living in a democratic fishbowl: its difficult to do anything when everyone is here, and feels perfectly entitled to give their 2 cents, no matter what. And the fact that this is coming partly from my dad is laughable, considering how he spent money when he was raising us.

My pregnancy and now mommyhood has been one strange ride, and it makes me feel alone that I dont have my sister (and to some extent, my dad) to share it with, because it seems she has some major problem with me growing and birthing another human being. I have Nick, my cousins and friends to share it with, and they mean the world to me, but it just seems a little lackluster that my sister doesnt want to share this with me.

*sigh*

I had some ideas for poems and art projects, but I forgot them (as I tend to do ALOT these days) so I will have to remember them and blog later because dammit, they were REALLY cool!!!